Below is a summary of the full article at http://sacredvalleytribe.com/think-whats-true/self-love-practice/
“Who am I?” is a very profound question. Do the phrases of “I think therefore I am” or “I feel therefore I am” or “I act therefore I am” create any definition of who we actually are? The answer is hard to come by and it most likely will come as a direct experience that will open a direct realization to your nature. It will be psychologically calming yet powerfully stimulating. You will feel truly expansive and empowered and realize you’re answering to yourself. The true feeling of “Who am I?” comes at the absence of the fictional character or the digital avatar we project. It comes at the absence of trying desperately to be valued or approved by other people. However, these realizations will not matter if you are unable to abide in a loving state.
Who am I, will not guarantee you are going to be a nice or loving person and talking about self-realization only works when you are around people that are equally interested in that topic. So, do you prefer self-realization or self-love because abiding to be in a heart centered state is not a realization, it is a life long journey and practice.
Love is the goal that you wish to feel. We all know that love is the highest vibration in existence. We all know the power of love in a conceptual way. We live in a world of people that know the power of love but don’t know how to awaken it in themselves as most of our attention is centered in the head, in the mind.
Everyone that treats you in a bad way is lacking of love. Everyone is crying for love. Every argument is a cry for love. Every addiction is a cry for love. Every dysfunctional food behavior is a cry for love. Love is the goal you wish to feel and realize within you. You can gain many realizations of truth but unless you become heart centered you will not be able to maintain the vibration of love, which is what you have been seeking all your life and what will feed the expansion of all of your other endeavors.
When you are feeling love in the heart it feels really good, and nothing else matters when you are feeling love inside. It doesn’t matter what happens outside. When you are heart centered, you can go in the street and if someone cuts you off with his car it doesn’t matter. Things don’t disturb you in quite the same way. It is a beautiful sensation and a state full of gratitude and higher vibrations. We are all looking for that at every moment. And there is a way to cultivate it.
Love needs to come from within. When we look for it outside, it feels good for a while, but we always need more, and more and it is easy to fall into the pleasure trap of relying on others. We can’t reach a state of fulfillment unless it comes from within and that is called self-love.
We grow up in a society that is not teaching us how to cultivate self-love. Our school system and society push us in a direction of competition and consumption all the time making us reliant and addicted to the love that others give us. They do not teach us self-love which is a vital ingredient absolutely crucial for our emotional development and health.
Self-love starts with something crucial. It begins with a radical acceptance of who you are. Completely, with all your shadow, with all the aspects that you do not want to show to anyone, with all our addictions and dysfunctionalities, with everything, all the things that we don’t like to project, all the things that we reject about ourselves, all the things that we feel ashamed of showing.
One of the biggest manifestations of violence that we can see in the world is actually the silent violence we give to ourselves, the internal dialog, the things we tell ourselves. So sit down, take the time to clear your mind and connect with your breath and actually really hug yourself and relentlessly tell yourself “I love you, I love you”. Recognize all this yearning shadow as your inner child looking for your attention, longing for your attention, just wanting to be loved. Embrace yourself completely and radically accept you as you are, “I love you, I love you”, keep repeating, “I love you”.
Give yourself the love and attention that you have not learned how to give yourself up to this point. Love your own heart.
Self-love is not going to come as a spontaneous realization, as it will fade out if you think it is the product of a realization and not what it is, which is a lifelong practice. It will come as anything else does that you take on with learning and is very similar to playing a musical instrument or learning a foreign language. It’s a beautiful practice to sit down and love yourself. Loving yourself and loving what arises will naturally bring you to a space of high vibration, high frequency, the high of self-expansion.
At the beginning, it can sound a little inauthentic, you tell yourself, “I love you” and you cannot feel it. But if you keep repeating it to yourself, “I love you”, “I accept you completely”, your subconscious mind will give permission to your body to feel the love you are projecting with your words, and then you will start feeling it. Start creating new patterns within your subconscious mind by making “I love you” the most popular thing you are saying to yourself.
If you recognize that love is what you are seeking in the core of your life experience, then declare your only interest to shift your point of awareness from abiding in the mind to abiding in the heart. Any time you find yourself feeling in a way that feels uncomfortable to you, instead of thinking about what you think it represents, just simply bring your attention to the heart and be interested in feeling what you are feeling and not thinking about it. The more times you simply bring attention into the heart, just to feel your experience and not think about it, the more your body will actually open up.
Everything is a reflection of how you treat yourself.
This is a transformative different way you can approach your reality. This is not about creating outcomes. We do not create outcomes. We treat ourselves with love and we naturally witness how the world treats ourselves in the same way we choose to treat ourselves. That is quantum mechanics.
What are the words I have been waiting for others to say?
Can I be the one to say that to myself?
Can I be the one that loves myself instead of blaming and judging the journey of others?
Can I be the love I’ve always been waiting for?