12/18…..The addiction to cigarettes might want a cigarette and need security, and if it gets security it will feel peaceful. So the nectar will be a feeling of peace. By feeding the demon the emotional feeling that underlies the desire for the substance, we address the core issue instead of just the symptoms. And if the stress demon that wants success ultimately needs to feel relaxed, feeding it a feeling of relaxation will put an end to its compulsive activity.

Lama Tsultrim Allione
from her book Feeding Your Demons.


12/18…..The Intricacies of a Positive Mental Health Practice, Technology Balance, Awareness, and Dopamine Hits

—-We spend our whole lives BECOMING the way we are, some of us build awareness for HOW we are, and an even smaller amount ACCEPT that fully and then grow in an empowered, positive direction from there. We spend a shit ton of time forever holding onto things and attach meaning to the mind for however we have been in our lives. Letting go is thus a herculean task.

My own process is committed to a self-love practice and learning how to sit in stillness where a certain ‘nothingness’ is achieved. A nothingness that brings about observation of my life for what I truly feel connected with to persist rather than listening to the noisy chamber of my mind blasting away in extremes and busyness at every moment. If I don’t commit to this with my time and patience, my life passively becomes overwhelmingly shrouded in anxiety, depression, addiction, trauma reactions, etc. I have awareness for paying special attention to what situations in life give me that graspy feeling. When do I become desirous and obsessed with an idea and am no longer present? When do I find myself out of control with my intentions and prayers in life? How do I cater to being in a connection mindset with myself, others, and life vs just wanting something for the ‘hit’ of whatever it is? When I listen to myself, better situations and people arise where a lightness is present and an equal exchange of giving and receiving happens. Feelings of empowerment and respect for self and others arise. Unconditional love grows and that giving and receiving feel the same as life is being lived through you vs you attempting to have any control over it. It just is happening. Today I trust in patience. I trust in the obviousness of what keeps speaking to me and if it is expansive and connective in nature or narrow and depletive

We may look at people and judge and think they are living in really unhealthy ways, but those people are on their own path and have no idea what they are going through. Maybe you’re right about them, maybe not. It doesn’t really matter because it’s not about you. What’s about you is the peace you have in your heart about who you are. Maybe the other is truly at peace with how they are, no matter how ironic or unhealthy it may come across. There is no right or wrong in any of this and that is important to remember. It’s not about the other and getting lost in that is a recipe for disaster. Your inner peace and own energy trajectory and mental health are what’s important. One can be sane in a perceived insane world as long as they continually make efforts to feed their soul and connect to the communal spirit. It doesn’t really matter if all of the “others” are demons or capitalistic personalities or whatever. Labels don’t really matter vs what is happening and processing inside of you. What happens when one stops trying so hard at trying to organize, label, control, worry, be overwhelmed about the external world so much, and rather, bring that energy in?


12/15…Addiction and Sex and Ejaculatory Release

–The release?  Why is this so important.  Well imagine what release means when the common person thinks about coming home from a long day of duties or work.  They sit down and watch tv and let it think and talk for them, they have a drink or many (alcohol).  They might eat their favorite snack.  I would say probably something usually with sugar in it.  They might overeat at a meal.  They might over-train in the gym.  They might take some pain killers or other prescriptions drugs to help them relax or sleep.  For the more illegal drug user, they’ll come home and take a huge bong rip of cannabis.  They’ll inject themselves with some heroine or prefer to take any other form that creates a “release” type feeling that they think about all day and salivatingly look forward to.  It’s what gets them through their day that they can look forward to the release.  Sounds all too easy and all too much of a practical solution.  However, unintended consequences arise.