Positive Processing / Landmark

11/17…..A 35 Year-Old Birthday Self Reflection

—–Normally I don’t do birthday reflections but 35 is a very symbolic age for me. Particularly because being someone who used to be paid to play sports it was the age that you’d talk about in the way off future for contemplating retirement! Since giving up on my professional athletic pursuits many years ago, I’ve tried heavily to move in a direction in my life that hasn’t focused primarily on my physicality. I always wanted to be defined more than how my body performs, and my physical whims and desires. I wanted to be smarter, more balanced, and able to grasp emotional and intellectual intelligence, as relying on body just seemed shallow overall. However, you grow up knowing and learning and acting in whatever way was exposed to you, and the process over the years can at times be very slow as it’s hard to change directions where your body and mind naturally go for processing and reaction and maturity. Our lives go in direction of various energetic surges and then one day we wake up and think about where we’re at and how that’s either where we want to be or not. I’m happy that I’ve never sold myself out, even though there were moments when I almost didn’t see a way out and had trouble believing in myself, and gave into darkness. I feel like now I can see the horizon of a new level of existence that’s more honed around the deeper, more authentic aspects of life that I feel drawn to and want to incorporate. Trusting your gut instinct and keeping confidence in the dark valleys are hard but they are more likely to land you in eventual good spaces. And most importantly of all, surrounding yourself with positive people and those you admire and who are healthy is the best thing you could ever do. The people you surround yourself with reflect who you are more than most other things. Thank you to all of my friends for being that presence in my life. You know who you are. So here’s to the next era of life where a more authentic, emotionally processed and capable and mature person is trying to vehemently form. This is just the end of the beginning intro to life and not unlike a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. Now let’s swing upside down!

 

1/17…Engaging in Something Bigger Than Ourselves

—-We often think of “I” as that which goes on with us internally with our attitudes, moods, feelings, emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations, etc.  We can also think of “I” through a filter of some theory, idea, memory, belief, etc. Being limited by either of those default places we associate with “I” doesn’t allow us to investigate the full potential available in being human both internally and externally.  We want to be a powerful “I” that encompasses all and can grasp what we originally considered to be out of our reach.  We want to expand upon the whole world in a different way.  We want to get out of our “default orientation” so that we illuminate, vs. limit, what we encounter day to day.

 

12/16…Unattachment in Love Leading to Healthy, Expansive, Empowering Love

—-Unattachment in love is purely the ability to love someone freely. Both people are able to come and go at will, without ever feeling like there is an expectation for a specific set of behaviors or timelines.  Communication and expression and holding space and intersecting your empowered life with your partner’s empowered life and moving on from there is the foundation of unattachment love.

In order to truly love someone this way we have to first name and sit with our wounds; our fear of abandonment, rejection and whatever else we have been conditioned, since birth, to expect from a relationship. Once we can do this work for ourselves, it doesn’t suddenly end, but rather becomes easier to navigate unattachment.  We understand that our feelings don’t have to do with the other person, but with ourselves.

Unattachment simply means that we are choosing to love in a mindful way.

 

—-We often gravitate towards things in relationships not because it’s what we want but because it’s what we’re used to. It’s part of the struggle of maturing and adapting and overcoming our pasts and actually learning how to stand for our empowered selves and who we actually want to be in the present and future. It’s part of learning how to unlearn. What would our personality actually look like if we didn’t have years of defense mechanisms built up that eventually evolved into our actually personality? What would that personality actually attract in people?…
—-The ability to feel my heart expand and then contract, followed directly by the fear that it will never expand again. Oh to be human is such a tender experience! I chose, and I continue to choose, consciously, purposefully, and on purpose to remain open. To remain fully alive and present in every moment, expanded or contracted, and feel the multi layered expression of how this existence affects me, and mine upon it. My wish is that every expansion and contraction of my being be greater and push my parameters always and ever onward, and please, with grace!
—-Options are mostly familiar, foreseeable and fall within our known expectations and are essentially forecasts based on our past interpretations. In this way, they are not exactly options but repetitions in disguise from our past leaving us with our old interpretations determining our future. True option and “choice” is another matter as being able to create is a profound human ability…

Original Landmark passage can be found here…http://landmarkinsights.com/2016/08/the-power-to-choose-is-uniquely-human/

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